"See Something, Do Something": A Community Approach to Combat Domestic Violence

On April 28th, I had the privilege of attending a gala fundraiser for a local Dallas organization called Chetna. Chetna provides confidential and compassionate support to individuals who are victims of domestic violence. It was an event that included speakers from the South Asian community who shared their personal experiences of violence and abuse.

One of the things that unexpectedly stood out to me was that victims of domestic violence were often women who were educated and accomplished. Often we think of people of less privilege or education level as being more susceptible to such scenarios. It can happen regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic status or sexual orientation.

Anyone, including your family members or friends could be silently suffering at the hands of a domestic partner. Intimate partner violence (IPV) can be physical, sexual, or psychological. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, abuse stems from a desire to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner. According to a study reported by the Asian Pacific Institute on Gender Based Violence, out of 1577 Asians, 20% of Indian respondents (154 male and female) reported experiencing at least one form of IPV, ranging from objects being thrown to a gun or knife being used in the previous year. In this community, abuse can occur at the hands of family members of the abuser as well.

IPV can go on for years with intermittent periods of calm in between recurrent cycles. Women often suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, physical health conditions directly associated with injuries from violence, as well as problems related to cardiovascular, reproductive, gastrointestinal and immune systems due to chronic stress.

Often, women will not seek help from their families or friends. So, how do we identify those within our community who may be suffering from IPV?

According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence, behaviors of abusers are:

Jealousy or extreme possessiveness

Prevent the victim from spending time with family and friends

Extremely controlling behavior

Control of all finances

Bad temper

Not allowing the victim to work or go to school

Accusations of victim flirting or having affairs

Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men

Verbal abuse

Embarrassment or humiliation of victim in private or in public

Tell the victim they are nothing without them

Call several times a night to make sure the victim is where she said she would be

Victims of abuse often:

Fear how their partner will act

Make excuses for their partners behavior

Avoid doing things that will make their partner angry

Always do what their partner wants to do

Stay with their partner due to fear of what they would do if they broke up

There are resources available to individuals suffering from intimate partner violence. Many organizations, like Chetna, offer case management services including legal support, interest free loans, provide resources for life skills, job training, counseling with South Asian mental health professionals and support groups. (Graphic below #SeeSomethingDoSomething provided by Chetna, 2018). Other sister South Asian local community organizations exist in other cities and some are listed below.

If you believe someone is a victim of domestic violence, follow advice from the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Acknowledge the abuse, be supportive, and listen. Do not be judgmental as there are many reasons for why someone may not leave their abuser. Help them develop a safety plan. Encourage them to talk to a local domestic violence agency. Remember that you cannot rescue them but it is important to support them as they make their own decisions. For more information, please visit http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

As a community, it is imperative that we not only recognize abuse, but create an environment in which victims may break their silence and get the help they need, in order to live lives that are free of fear and full of dignity and peace.

Contact information for national and local South Asian domestic violence agencies:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE

Chetna DFW: (www.chetna-dfw.org) 1-888-924-3862

Daya Houston, TX: (www.dayahouston.org) 713-981-7645

Sakhi New York, NY: (www.sakhi.org) 212-868-6741

For contact information for other organizations serving the South Asian community in additional cities, please contact Chetna DFW.

#CHETNA #domesticviolence #SouthAsian